updated at 3:11 PM on September 18, 2003
Im falling down
Down to the ground
Where eyes show no mercy
Of pain to be withheld
Hope shows no reluctance for me
Just another sad old man
dieing of cancer
to be stengthed his future will not.
Eyes stare at me
for words I cannot see
For tears i cannot feel
The distant ship is on the horizon
Fading away to the past
I am sweaped away
Off my feet
On a Chairtable Cause
The ship is gone
I wish I could recouperate. My relationship with Holly is strengthing but I am still lost. I see no sun for it is dead to me. Thoughs who know me best wont even understand what I am saying so it doesnt matter if you do or not. I am sinking into the hole of remorce and i cant dig my way out... I am to deep in...
I have gone to far and yet, never far enough. I try to help people when i can but i often fail for i cant even learn to help myself. I need to see a shrink...
Im going to be honest... My mind is spining and my world is leaving me behind. I have no family relationships besides my mom and my uncle and aunt.
I am crashing down to the floor in a slump.
Guitar helps me but i feel as if i am on my inherited path... The path of an alcholic...
No i do not drink. But the more and more i see alchol the more i want it. Its getting hard to resist. I hate drugs, I hate Alchol and I hate sex offenders. I stay strong in my will to surive.
I will find help.
My grades are terrible 2 A's and 2 d's as of now... I think i can turn the D's into c's though by the end of the quarter..
I am a smart man. I can't speak english or write it. I took an offical IQ test not long ago, I scored a 163 where a 150-200 is considered genius.. My words do not flow through my mind or my tounge.
There was a question that asked "Why?" and I had to answer it in parigraph form... I just simply answerd "Why not?" I guess they liked that a lot...
I hade the nightmare again last night. Something is going to happen to me...
Im listing to: Pigs (3 diffrent ones- Pink Floyd
Im feeling: Lost
I am feeling Currently feeling: